This is not a set of rules, but a guide for Indians in particular. Most of us are pretty awful when it comes to giving a compliment. I am not ready to psychoanalyze why that is the case. The usual suspects come up: our culture, our values, blah, blah, blah.

If you see something that’s good or someone that’s done a good job, just say it already.

This is especially true of engineers and developers. Something about the “I should not say this is very good else they will take advantage of me” is absolute bullsh*t.

I make exceptions for women. In this case alone, because almost anything they say is construed “I like this” in *that* way.

The worst are the guys who give back-handed compliments, thinking they are actually being nice. No, you are not. You are being a doofus.

Lets start with some examples.

1. You finish a meeting with an entrepreneur who is doing something new and innovative. Dont say “I tried this 2 years ago and it did not work, but your solution might”, when you intend to say “That’s a pretty neat idea and a new take on a problem I know exists”

2. Someone finishes their demo and they gave a very good pitch. Dont come to them and say “I thought I was the best at giving demos and now I know I can learn from you”, when you intend to say “You did an awesome demo. It was crisp and compelling. There’s a lot to learn from how you present.”

3. You meet an investor who has given you time to pitch, even though they, like you, are very busy. At the end of the meeting you got 2-3 good inputs from them and thought they understood the problem you are solving and what your solution does, even though they wont invest. Dont say “I met many investors, but you got what we are doing, unlike others who did not get it”, instead say “Thanks for taking the time to understand my solution. Its hard to understand it quickly and I am glad you got it quickly”.

What are the 3 guidelines I propose for giving a good compliment:.

1. Be sincere and genuine. If you liked it say you liked it. If you liked it a lot, dont say it was okay because you think it will give them a ego boost if you express “fandom” . Dont compare it to other things unless asked to do so. I understand the whole “frame of reference” and relative bit, but give people credit when its due.

2. Try not to use cliches. This is hard not to do, but pick up on one really standout part of the interaction and give them a compliment on that part. Their delivery, use of imagery, etc.

3. Keep your sentences short. That way you avoid getting into rat holes, especially if you are not sure what you really want to say. Or if there was nothing great about it, but it was good enough. Even one single sentence “Your demo was crisp” is better than 10 sentences of rambling about the market, why you tried and it did not work etc.

Why would you want to ever be an entrepreneur?

Its a largely under-appreciated, underpaid, overworked and frustrating role. The worst part is the fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) created by yourself and a constant battle to fight your own daemons.

Of these I am going to focus on one part. The state of “not knowing”.

Just so you know, once you become an entrepreneur, you are perpetually in a state of the unknown.

Forever.

There will always be more unknowns than known’s. There should always be (and there are) more questions – about your market, about the product, your ability to deliver, the team, your ability to raise funds, your ability to execute – the list is endless. Each new milestone ends up bringing you more questions from others and those who call themselves “insiders”.

For the few that are zen-like and do meditation to calm the soul, its rewarding to find such rich fodder for practice.

For the rest of us, who are mere mortal entrepreneurs, it is the most frustrating part.

Things will always be in a flux.

That’s where you have to draw your strength from.

Its important to know that everyone else is in the same state.

Which is why entrepreneurship is vastly underrated.

An entrepreneur’s optimism is infectious. She envelopes you with her obsession for the problem she’s trying to solve. She speaks with the eloquence of a seasoned televangelist and the passion of Russian gym coach trying to urge her prized student to over perform.

The entrepreneur’s optimism is all encompassing. The hurdles she faces daily including lack of connections, lack of credibility or even the inability to meet payroll don’t deter her. Her optimism overwhelms her outlook towards the daunting problems we mortals face daily.

The entrepreneur’s optimism is never ending. She knows (possibly) at the back of her mind that the odds are stacked against her. That’s what makes her admirable – she does not care. As far as she’s concerned, she’s not giving up, either today, tomorrow or when gas prices hit $200 per gallon.

I had a good friend and entrepreneur who I spoke with last week who was at his wits end. Having been at it for 9 months working on their product, they had completed an alpha version, beta version and released a version 1. They had gotten over 50,000+ users for their application, seen a lot of traction, only to find 2 weeks of slower growth in new user additions. That made him question everything.

The questions were valid and very relevant. The assumptions they made were not quite the right ones, so things were in a state of flux.

A few investors had seen their momentum and were interested in funding the company. He, was now simply paralyzed.

Unsure if he should take the funds because more things were unknown than known, or lead himself to believe that the money will offer him answers to the questions he had.

Even entrepreneurs who have been through this several times find this issue to be a constant source of frustration.

Things are always in a flux.

They will always be in a startup.

If they are not, then you have become a “big company” and while there are merits to being a big company, startups are a LOT more fun.

If you call being in a state of constant flux fun.

There are those that thrive in that environment. I use one trick (it is a mind trick) to make things seem fun.

I imagine how much more frustrating it would be if I were at a large company, dealing with the politics of multiple teams, conflicting priorities and boring daily routines.

Then I feel better about the fact that I as an entrepreneur, control my own destiny.

Nothing’s more liberating than that.

If your market is the US or if you are looking to get funded by US investors, then you would be most likely looking to move there as well.

There has been a recent surge in entrepreneurs applying and getting into incubator and accelerator programs in the valley, so I thought I’d put together a quick guide for entrepreneurs who are looking to move to the US for work.

There are multiple options for short term stay in the US, but to be able to work, realistically you only 5 options – H1B (work permit), L1 (company transfer), E2 (investment), EB2 (advanced degree and exceptional candidates), O (exceptional ability candidate).

The US is a notoriously hard place to get work visas for, so you should plan appropriately. While there is talk of a startup visa, expect that to take a few years to be in effect if at all. You can also obtain a B visa for temporary stay or visit, but that’s for meetings alone and technically will not let you setup your company or allow you to work.

Of the 20+ entrepreneurs, (who were interested in moving to the US) I have spoken with over the last few months, 11 have received visas for work in the US and the rest had their visas rejected. The high rejection rate had nothing to do with their company or ability, was the sense I got. It is still a largely hit or miss process for most entrepreneurs to obtain US work visas.

If you are the CEO / founder of the company and want to remain being the CEO or have a large controlling stake, then E1/E2 and O visas are the only type that will work. The E visas require you to invest over $1 Million in capital, so be warned.

The H1B and EB2 visas are more traditional work visas, used by most, but you will have to work for  the company, not as a CEO or founder (among other things). Couple of the co-founders I have spoken with, had one co-founder, who decided to stay in the US be the CEO, while the other resigned as CEO and then apply as an engineer in the H1 B category.

Only 1 founder had applied under the EB2 category, and he had a PhD, which he was told was a big reason for the lawyer to suggest that category.

The O visa has started to get more popular, but the documentation required is a lot is what I have heard. This includes making sure you have a lot of press about you and the company, a few recommendations, etc.

None of the product founders I had spoken to tried the L visa, but I know that it was a popular choice a few years ago for services entrepreneurs. This is a company transfer and is valid for 5 years, and has two options, L1A (executive and management) and L1B (exceptional category).

Those are the 5 different options for getting work visas and move to the US.

Many founders I know are also taking the route of getting a B1 visa, hiring a key co-founder or executive in the US and planning on making quarterly trips for work.

P.S. This post is not legal advice, so please do talk to a qualified lawyer in the US who practices immigration law before you decide on the best course of action for you.

There’s no science behind the quote from Jim Rohn

“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

It does seem somewhat right though.

This was the thought that’s going through my mind as our third month came to a close at the Microsoft Accelerator. – Shameless plug, apply now for our Summer 2013 batch.

The biggest learning for me was that any accelerator is as good or bad as its filtering criteria alone.

That’s it.

Select good founders, you are a rockstar. Select not so good ones, you are a dud.

Surprising is it not? Or maybe obvious to many.

I think many of us (investors, accelerators, mentors etc.) assume too much credit for a startup’s success.

Truth is, its largely up to the entrepreneurial team, the founders and the early employees and maybe a little/lot of luck.

In my first batch I was largely trying to avoid messing up our founders too much. The last thing I wanted was a bunch of entrepreneurs at the psychiatrist’s couch talking about coulda, shoulda, woulda, had it not been for me.

What prompted me to think this was my visit to the valley. At the Angelpad demo day, the companies seemed flawless, crisp and very high quality. They all seemed ready and “investable” from the minute they presented their case.

Then I went to meet many more founders in the valley from various parts of the world at a co-working space called Rocket space in SF. The best and the brightest do come to the valley from the world over. Just as the best and the brightest come to any place where there are other best and brightest people.

Some simple and easy to understand observations at our accelerator:

1. Startup teams worked as hard (or not) as the average of the other startups. One or two teams were working extra hard, whereas others largely followed the middle path.

2. Most startups had traction that was largely the average of all startups, with no exceptions.

3. Most startup presentations was also the average of all startups.

And so on.

So what’s the learning for entrepreneurs?

Seek and hangout with the best and the brightest.

Even if you feel inferior to other founders, who are better, (in fact way better) than you.

Its human tendency to settle in the average, but push yourself to only be with other founders who have lots more traction than you do, lots more smarts than you do and more funding that you do.

Largely because you will be the average of all others. If you seek out the best, your own level will rise.